2007-07-11

Healing


I think it's safe to say that last week held some of the worst days of my entire life. The shock of Monday was rivoting. The decisions we had to make on Tuesday were unbearable. Wednesday we went through all of our photos and remembered and laughed as Lauren and I made 3 large photo displays for the wake. Thursday was exhausting, I accepted condolances and hugged some 200+ people, including my 2nd grade teacher. I felt a stab of pain each time I corrected a visitor who mistook Theresa's boyfriend for my husband. We went on without food, without sleep, and on Friday I cried. I think I cried almost constantly through the funeral service. The mass was so beautiful. And then it was over.
The day after the funeral my cousin Janel came to get me and Lori out of the house. We brought Manuel along and after pretending to eat lunch, we went for pedicures. It felt so good to be... normal.
Going back to work yesterday was hard, but today was a little easier. I have the support of so many friends here, I feel truly blessed.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the many kind comments and emails that you have sent. Your friendship and support is sincerely appreciated and each card or email I open reminds me that my life is here, my life is full. I will always miss her, but I have faith that things happen for a reason and I know God has a plan that I just can't see yet.

8 comments:

catsmum said...

one breath at a time , one minute at a time and you WILL get through it even if it doesn't feel like that at the moment.

Peggy said...

I've been thinking of you every day since I read your last post, and hoping that you and your family were holding up okay. *Hugs* from afar.

Di said...

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Marisa said...

So hard to comment on your post, but you have my deepest respect for what you are going through, and my thoughts that you will again find happiness someday.

African Kelli said...

How are you today? I have been keeping you all in my prayers.

HerbalTonya said...

what a tragedy to come home to! thinking of you during the painful time of healing.
sending love and light, tony(a)

hunnybunny said...

I read your post for the first time a couple days ago, it hit very close to home for me. I tried to think of the right words but I don't think there are any. I do want you to know that I have been thinking of all of you, and will continue to for a while.

Peggy said...

Jessica, Just wanted to check back in and tell you I hope you are doing okay. I know it's so very hard right now, and everyone grieves in their own ways...and it changes too as time goes on. I've been there (still there some days). Just wanted to send another long distance *hug* today.

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