am I ready for this?

I bought my plane tickets for Japan nearly 2 weeks ago.
though I'm thrilled that I'm going, it either hasn't really hit me yet, or my subconcious is playing some tricks so that I don't think about it. Either way that's fine, it's best if I don't obsess about it for the next 3 months. I want to make it a well planned trip, get in as much quilt-related sight-seeing, shopping, and relaxing that I can, and try to appreciate being there now for what it will be-- a solo pleasure trip in my mid-20s to visit friends, and a time to find some closure. I'm telling myself that it will be my last time there for a while, maybe a long while, maybe ever.

who knows. this is exactly what I want to avoid-- dwelling on my intense past relationship with Japan. Can't I stay in the "now" for a while? So... I'm posting about going because... Mrs. K called and I told her I'm coming. She was excited and said she'll cancel all of her appointments (she attends one aerobics class per week, i told her not to cancel it). She wants to keep it a secret from her husband until I get there.. I wonder if that'll work.

I'm happy that she's happy. It will be good to spend time with her. It will be good for a lot of reasons... yes, i just need to accept that. it's good that I'm going, no matter what happens.

The pic at the top is from a fieldtrip my exchange program took to Kanazawa. I'm the first female on the left (brown pants). This was in the spring of 2000 maybe? or fall of 1999? Now I don't remember. I was shocked to realize that i have no digital photos from that time. I have hardly any digital photos from when I did JET either, only the handful that I emailed to Costas from my cell phone. It hits me how much time has passed not by my age, or what I've done since then, but how technology and the internet play such a different role in my life now compared to then. Sure, as an exchange student in Japan at the turn of the century, I had a cell phone that could send email, but I didn't have a computer or a digital camera. Those items were acquired in 2002 & 2003, respectively. I used the internet mainly to send email to my family and friends, not as an ultra convenient information storage system/social network, as I do now. Hmph. if these things shock me, what else am I in store for when I get off the plane in Sapporo?

ahh, questions to ponder in a future post.
now, I should run off to bed.